I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
