So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
