i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
