I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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