i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
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