ugly people sure do ruin things
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
