i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
