apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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