Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
