i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
