Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
