the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
