you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
