No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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