She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
