You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
