hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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