Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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