I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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