i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
