i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
