how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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