I bet he comes in French.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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