I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
