We need to start having sex underwater more often.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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