Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
