how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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