Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
