The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I need a beard to bite.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
