Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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