R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
