Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
