I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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