I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Randomize