He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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