i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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