Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
