Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
