You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
