I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
