not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
