DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
