she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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