even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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