Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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