Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
