where am i from again
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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