i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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