This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
