plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
