Dual....:-)
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize