That's intense
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
