That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
