I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
