Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
