you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
