did you get engaged???
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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