I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i can't believe i had my finger in that
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
