i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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