Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just cut my nipple shaving
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
