How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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