I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
