you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
And then he peed in my hair
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