what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
