i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
