You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
