Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
